Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
