Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
