so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
