Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
