i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
