i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
