dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
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