You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
