I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
youre lurking in front of me
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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