Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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