i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
