i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
