We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
tonight lets celebrate not being married
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
