Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
