I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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