shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
