just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
