yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Houston, we have a blender
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
