I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
