I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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