i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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