Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
