So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
