I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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