I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Less talking, more tequila
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Vodka?
Forever.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
