My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
