okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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