the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
