A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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