okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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