Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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