oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
