You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
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