She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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