We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
