Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
