I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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