im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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