ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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