nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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