If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize
