I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
