My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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