The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
