I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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