If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
