We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
