hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
