Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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