I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
