It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Randomize
