I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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