You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
