Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
