i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Randomize
