shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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