So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
