dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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